anchors away

top: c/o chicwish

shorts: f21

I have to confess, I haven't been feeling like myself lately. I have felt uninspired and unsettled, so you can blame the recent lack of blog posts on that. I feel so many things right now that it's shocking I haven't gone completely crazy. My mind feels restless. Like I'm trying to come to some kind of conclusion but I don't even know what that conclusion would be about. Almost like my brain is trying to master up a fantastic idea but it just hasn't reached it yet, and it won't stop spinning around until it has found it. How is that for some Monday morning pondering?

I also feel frustrated. Frustrated at the fact that I cannot figure out what it is that I'm trying to conclude, but also at my brain for just being how it is. Sometimes I wish I could just get amnesia and start fresh with a new brain, not remembering how I used to think and how wild my mind was. My anxiety has been really bad lately. I'm becoming more and more agoraphobic and I just want it to stop. I want to not worry and I want to do adventurous things. It's extremely annoying when your own mind won't let you do either.

I'm giving myself a headache.