water always tries to kill me
In the introduction post I made the other day, (by the way I have LOVED reading/replying to your comments), I mentioned something about being afraid to stick my head under water. I'm not entirely afraid of swimming... in fact I love floating around in the water... I just can not will not jump in, or stick my head under. I've been this way since I was little and I'll tell you why.
Reason #1. When I was tiny, I took swimming lessons. Back then, even the shallow end was too deep for my toes to reach the bottom. I hated it, it was so awkward and I felt like I had no control over where I'd end up. I couldn't quite figure out how to hold my breath properly. I never passed the first level because I refused to jump in.
Reason #2. We had one of those above ground pools in my yard growing up. I had a blast in it until one day a styrofoam lifesaver tried to kill me. I was floating around in it by myself while my dad was working nearby in the yard. I was sitting inside the lifesaver when I suddenly tipped backwards and got my leg caught. There I was, stuck swirling around with my head at the bottom of the pool and my foot caught on the surface above. It was probably the scariest moment. I remember trying to free myself with no luck. Thankfully my dad looked over and saw me, reached in, grabbed my by my hair, and pulled me out.
Reason #3. We had a devil of an older woman neighbor who was our babysitter during the summer and after school while my parents were at work. Sometimes she would sneak all of us (the kids she was babysitting) over to my house to use our pool. We were all in it running around in a circle to make a whirlpool while she stood outside by the edge. She KNEW that I hated sticking my head under water, but like I said she was a devil woman. As I ran past her she grabbed the top of my head and dunked me under. She held me there for what I am pretty sure was about 30 seconds... which is a long freaking time if you're terrified and can't breathe. I'm not sure why I never told my parents at the time. Maybe I thought I did something wrong... no idea but thanks to her I was never the same again.
Reason #4. I was swimming (aka floating) at a friends place when her super fat brother decided to do a cannonball two feet away from me. This resulted in me being pushed under the water and coming back up chocking to death on all of the water I had just taken into my lungs. Couldn't breathe. They just stood there staring at me like I was crazy or something. Needless to say, it wasn't a very fun moment.
These are all just the reasons pertaining to sticking my head under water. Do you want to talk about lakes? How about the time I saw a drunk guy fall overboard and get sliced up by the motor? Or the time when I was at a public lake and was warned that there was a giant snapping turtle on the loose. Of course I freak out and start swimming to shore when I put my foot down to see if I can reach the bottom and what do I feel on my leg? *bump bump* oh hello there turtle! Swimming as fast as I can (which isn't very fast) I can still feel this thing on my trail. Or what about the time when I was out in the middle of a lake with my cousins and suddenly my uncle comes running to the shore shouting "get out of the water!!", grabs his gun, and tries to hurry us all up. I've never been so scared, and still don't know what he saw but I'm convinced it was something that wanted to eat me.
Needless to say, there are numerous other instances where water has tried to kill me, and I'm pretty sure that if I were to die, it would probably be because I drown or get eaten by a sea monster. So I like to try to take all necessary precautions when I'm around water because obviously it has something against me. Like I said in that other post... If you think you're funny and want to try to push me into a pool... you'd better be prepared for the backlash. ;)
Reason #1. When I was tiny, I took swimming lessons. Back then, even the shallow end was too deep for my toes to reach the bottom. I hated it, it was so awkward and I felt like I had no control over where I'd end up. I couldn't quite figure out how to hold my breath properly. I never passed the first level because I refused to jump in.
Reason #2. We had one of those above ground pools in my yard growing up. I had a blast in it until one day a styrofoam lifesaver tried to kill me. I was floating around in it by myself while my dad was working nearby in the yard. I was sitting inside the lifesaver when I suddenly tipped backwards and got my leg caught. There I was, stuck swirling around with my head at the bottom of the pool and my foot caught on the surface above. It was probably the scariest moment. I remember trying to free myself with no luck. Thankfully my dad looked over and saw me, reached in, grabbed my by my hair, and pulled me out.
Reason #3. We had a devil of an older woman neighbor who was our babysitter during the summer and after school while my parents were at work. Sometimes she would sneak all of us (the kids she was babysitting) over to my house to use our pool. We were all in it running around in a circle to make a whirlpool while she stood outside by the edge. She KNEW that I hated sticking my head under water, but like I said she was a devil woman. As I ran past her she grabbed the top of my head and dunked me under. She held me there for what I am pretty sure was about 30 seconds... which is a long freaking time if you're terrified and can't breathe. I'm not sure why I never told my parents at the time. Maybe I thought I did something wrong... no idea but thanks to her I was never the same again.
Reason #4. I was swimming (aka floating) at a friends place when her super fat brother decided to do a cannonball two feet away from me. This resulted in me being pushed under the water and coming back up chocking to death on all of the water I had just taken into my lungs. Couldn't breathe. They just stood there staring at me like I was crazy or something. Needless to say, it wasn't a very fun moment.
These are all just the reasons pertaining to sticking my head under water. Do you want to talk about lakes? How about the time I saw a drunk guy fall overboard and get sliced up by the motor? Or the time when I was at a public lake and was warned that there was a giant snapping turtle on the loose. Of course I freak out and start swimming to shore when I put my foot down to see if I can reach the bottom and what do I feel on my leg? *bump bump* oh hello there turtle! Swimming as fast as I can (which isn't very fast) I can still feel this thing on my trail. Or what about the time when I was out in the middle of a lake with my cousins and suddenly my uncle comes running to the shore shouting "get out of the water!!", grabs his gun, and tries to hurry us all up. I've never been so scared, and still don't know what he saw but I'm convinced it was something that wanted to eat me.
Needless to say, there are numerous other instances where water has tried to kill me, and I'm pretty sure that if I were to die, it would probably be because I drown or get eaten by a sea monster. So I like to try to take all necessary precautions when I'm around water because obviously it has something against me. Like I said in that other post... If you think you're funny and want to try to push me into a pool... you'd better be prepared for the backlash. ;)



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