dear life

Dear Nugget: can we please put you in commercials or print ads or something? I can't even wrap my head around how you are the most adorable cat in the world with the cutest personality to match. Although I do hate it when you claw my chair.

Dear smoothies: if I could drink you all day long and consume nothing else ever, I would. Only if my cups would magically wash themselves though.

Dear loverboy: i love you, but when you fall asleep early on the couch you ruin our late night movie time and leave me searching for something else to do.

Dear Bear: I still don't know what you want when you sit there whining at the air in front of you. It's been almost five years, can we please stop this game?

Dear collections agency: I refuse to pay the $15 you are demanding from me for something that I did not purchase. It's only $15, but it's the principle of the matter.

Dear Pitney Bowes: I do not have time for your erroneous bills. Stop charging me for things that didn't happen, and stop sending me to voicemail.

Dear baby fetus: I am so excited that you are going to make me an aunt (that's right friends!) and that you picked such awesome parents. I can't wait to meet you!

Dear weather: thanks for warming up at last, but can you please stop raining? It kind of defeats the whole purpose.

Dear Blogger: I hate the new backend so much and feel like such a newb when trying to figure out where to find certain things. 

Dear spider: I see you in the same spot every day out my window, making your web bigger and bigger. I know what you're up to. Sometimes I secretly wish you'd go away and die somewhere but you always come back. I can't squish you because you're the big kind of spider with a gross puss filled back. I cringe at the thought.